Life on the Outside
A year and a half following his release from Stateville Correctional Center, Broderick Hollins sat down with NPEP intern Darya Tadlaoui to talk about when he first heard about NPEP, the day he got out, and the challenges he’s faced in the outside world. Below are his responses, edited for length and clarity.
(photo credit: Monika Wnuk)
On getting out
When I first heard about NPEP, I was in “seg” — solitary confinement — at Danville Correctional Center. One of the wardens came by and gave me an application to fill out because she knew I had a bigger purpose than what I was locked up for in seg. She told me to fill it out, and I filled it out. And then I got in.
I didn’t know I was going to be released while I was still an NPEP student. Eventually, I knew I had an out date, and I knew that with NPEP I received some good time credit. But I didn’t have a clue that I was getting out during the process, so I was just doing what I was supposed to do to get the grades so I could get some good time.
It was January 10, 2022. They were doing count like a regular day, and they said, “Hollins, pack it up, you’re leaving.” I asked the guard where I was going and they said, “Home.” I didn't find that funny, and I thought he was playing. I told him to go get his boss and he came back laughing and said, “Yeah, boy, you’re going home.” I didn't have time to plan or do anything because everything just happened at that moment. They asked me, “Man, you wanna make a call?” So, I called my mother.
“Mom, I’m on my way home,” I said.
"Boy, stop playing,” she said. “No, I'm serious.”
“Well, if you serious, I'm gonna send a ride.”
My little sister, Brittany, came to pick me up. When I walked out, I just stood there like, “Damn, this really just happened.” I stood in the middle of the parking lot and I looked around and I just heard Brittany call my name and she ran and just jumped in my arms crying, and we just hugged for like three minutes.
On the way home, we stopped at a mall. I had a panic attack because there were too many people moving, birds flying, cars coming and I was like, “Yeah, this is way too much.” For over a decade, I walked the same way, I moved the same way.
I hadn’t told my kids I was coming home. When my daughter, Briasha, walked into the house, she was talking to my mother, her grandmother, and I just walked around the corner. She turned her head and saw me right there. She was frozen for a nice long minute, and she just walked to me, crying.
Then my son came home and was looking around like, “Why is everybody here on Monday?” So, I walked out, and he just stared at me and we hugged. My baby, Jada, had to use the bathroom when she got home, so she just ran straight to it, even though I was waiting right by the door. When she came out, she just stopped and looked at me and she cried and came into my arms. My oldest daughter, Amiah, came over with her mother.
That day was special because my grandmother was there, was alive, and we hugged for at least 10 minutes, just standing there. She was praying and telling me she knew I was going to make it and all that good stuff. That was a Kodak moment. That was the picture that we used for her obituary, me hugging her.
On the NPEP community
I’ve stayed in NPEP on the outside because of the company that comes with it. When you have people around you, they keep you level-headed to an extent. I got good energy around me that’s needed because out here’s rougher than in there.
And then there’s the people I’ve met. Before NPEP, I never had people I could just trust or didn't want to use me for what I could do in the streets. Through NPEP, I met Annie Buth, who became like my sister, and she’s been the one helping me with parole and finding employment.
I ended up going to San Francisco with her for a restorative justice conference. That was the freest I ever felt because I was able to just walk. I’d never done that. Just walk and sit on the beach by the bay in San Francisco and just not care about nothing. That was my first time ever feeling free.
On overcoming setbacks
After I got my associate’s degree in 2022, I found out my high school diploma wasn't up to par. That was the biggest slap in the face — that I had to start over. At one point, I was kind of like, “Man, I'm done. I'm not gonna step backward.”
But so many people in NPEP were like, “Man, you know we got you and you came this far, so this is just another obstacle you got to cross.”
They just let me pout for a couple of days and then were like, “You ready now?” I needed that.
On making an impact
When Maria Garza called me earlier [in 2023], she told me she got the NPEP Justice Fellowship. I said, “Guess what? I got it, too.”
That was amazing because of where we come from, a maximum prison, to be here, doing this? That was a big boost.
Then there’s Javier, who we call Javy, who's like a brother now. And then there’s Oscar, we call him Smiley. I was locked up with him. And Heather, too. I think the Justice Fellows are gonna bring powerful change because we’ve all felt the pain and know the pain and we could help prevent the pain.
On staying the course with NPEP
Future NPEP students: This will be the best thing you will ever experience during your incarceration. It’s a fraternity, and I’m still part of it. Every last one of those guys knows that I'm NPEP and I'm there for them. If I can help, I'm gonna help.
Take this seriously. There are some real genuine people who care about you in this program. The stuff that they’ve done for me since I've been out is way more than what I could have imagined — it's like a family here.
If you’re just locked up, you better read up on NPEP. Try to get involved. Even if you don’t make the first cut, try again. If you don’t make the second cut, try again. Eventually, they’re gonna keep seeing your name and say, “Yeah, let’s give this man his chance and see what he can do.”
